Utopia42

Aria had a melt down this morning (homework related) which always makes things harder than they have to be. While meditating and listening to her cry was not the meditation object of focus I was working on, it fell firmly into the hear-out, hear-in, feel-in circuit (a pattern of see/hear/feel sensation). Sometimes it's not what I choose, but it's what I have to work with. My meditation practice is everywhere. It's 4/20 though and the  Humanity Forward Arizona (HFAZ)  org is passing bylaws today. I'll be VP there. Going to make some positive changes here locally at the policy/candidate level. Would love to be surrounded by my friends, we will be taking volunteers and donations on 4/21. I miss you. I miss hugs. I miss restaurants and talking with friends. PS - Aria and I are fine now, crisis averted and she's measuring things around the house as part of her homework.

Power went out last night in my area due to a down power line. Aria, who is still scared of the dark, had a lot of fear and anxiety. We meditated a little, talked a little, snuggled a lot and after an hour or so the power came back on. I'm continually thankful to the skills of meditation in framing the circuits of sensory experience, and working with fear, our own thoughts and how we respond. Using the skills of meditation "in the moment" and being able to demonstrate and walk through that with Aria is something I'm grateful I can do with her. Sometimes I feel like the skills of meditation (Concentration/Focus, Sensory Clarity & Equanimity/Ease) are superpowers. Especially today.

So if you're reading this, you're at least interested enough to care what's happening in my life and I wanted to share this "Notice" with you.   Not many people know this but I'm currently on disability from work due to a health issue.   To answer all the questions before they are asked: I lose consciousness when I cough or laugh (laughing degenerates into a cough).   Most times It's just what I call a "grey-out".  I will lose all function of my body (arms, head, legs, etc) but still remain "aware" of what's happening. I've had 4 instances of full blackouts where I've woken up on the floor.  I've suffered a few scrapes and a knock on the head, but so far "staying safe" has kept anything serious from happening. So far there is no diagnosis, but the coughing is getting less frequent with treatment.   My spirits are relatively good all things considered, but this period of "leisure"...

As part of my self-discovery I've been reading and branching out.  One of the things that has been recommended to me is Aldus Huxley's "A brave new world" .  I downloaded it on Audible and started listening to it.  It was a radio dramatization from what sounds like the 50s.  It was part of a CBS dramatization to "expand the mind"...  Compare that to ANY programming that you get today, and I'm just stunned as to the differences in what people were willing to consume (A great literary novel) vs. most of what we see today.   You want to "go back to what made America great"?  Well, start listening/watching/doing things that expand and stretch your thoughts/consciousness.  Start focusing on friends/family/community.  When was the last time you had a BBQ with your neighbors?   "Opportunity looks a lot like hard work" - Ashton Kutcher (During teen awards show) Reposted from Mar 28, 2016

As part of my "mid-life crisis" I've taken the first step towards something new and different.  I've contacted a close by hospice and asked to sign up to volunteer.  It's a step to helping others and is really one of the places I think I can do some good and if I can emotionally withstand (or maybe embrace) being around death so closely then maybe I'll learn how to really live better.  There's a LOT more behind it than that, but that's a conversation best over coffee.   I was talking with my son Connor about it this evening and I really don't know what I expect.  I am trying to go into it with an open mind instead of expecting XYZ and then somehow coming up short as expectations are want to do.   One of the things I'm trying to strive for, is to give the type of care that I'd like to get.  Everyone will wind up facing the grim reaper someday and I...  Well, I want to help others who are going through the last days that they have. ...

Over the past week I've been on higher dosages of anti-seizure meds and that seems to have helped the severity of my episodes.  In short, instead of passing out I just get dizzy.  I'm getting a referral from a neurologist to "a specialist" and I'm like...  Uhhh, aren't you a specialist already...?  But I haven't gotten the specialists info yet so don't know when I'm seeing them yet...  More waiting. BUT I'm taking it as an opportunity to do something that I've always wanted to do.  Spend more time with my daughter. You see, since I'm on short term disability for my illness I've got a reduced income.  And so I'm looking for ways to save money...  Well heck!  How about daycare!  So I'm saving money and I get to spend more time with my daughter?  The downside here is where exactly? I know it's not a forever thing, but for right now, in these small moments I'm teaching my daughter the joys of playing 4-square out...

Life has been pretty chaotic lately (being sick and moving) but I've still managed to start reaching out to friends and family more to get to know them better and give them the chance to know me better.  It's been very energizing and draining at the same time.  I'm largely an introvert (it's how I recover "energy") but I think I can do this long-term.  I was a bit concerned as my normal reaction is to hibernate/cave at home and play video games.   As far as moving forward on all my initiatives to make money doing something I care more about...  Well I became engrossed in caring for my daughter.  It's really been a great experience for me and has helped to stabilize me on the path that I'm traveling, but I've been focused on my daughter so much that I'm missing the things I NEED to do in order to continue doing what I love doing (like caring for my daughter and making the world a better place). ...<time lapse>...   Well it's...

Since birth we are all immediately placed on the road to death.  We all intellectually know "yeah yeah, I'll die 'someday'", but very few of us in mid-stride of our lives really emotionally feel and grasp that we are all dying.  Some of us know that we are dying soon, but a great many of us don't really start living until they see their death looming ahead of them.   But death is looming ahead of all of us.  Every one of us will have their own experience with death as we all ultimately experience a ceasing of life.   So why then am I just now getting to this point where I'm seeing a different path?  I mean, very little is different now than 3 months ago, or even a year ago.  Really the outside world hasn't really changed, but the way I perceive the world and the lens through which I evaluate things has changed dramatically.  I don't have an illness that will kill me 6 months from now, but I do live my life in such a way that misfortune co...

I'm dying. My doctor has diagnosed me with a terminal illness. I'm going to spend this time with my friends.  My family.  My children.   The things that I will miss most are the moments with my daughter just snuggling and laughing.  Rolling around on my bed in the mornings.  Me falling back asleep as she watches a movie next to me.  Watching her run around and around the house playing with Ladybug (our dog).  God I'll miss her.   Watching my son grow into a man that I respect, as he has grown into a man worth that.  Seeing how he solves problems with logic and reason, how he treats others with kindness, how he has the wit of a jester that I hope won't get him into too much trouble.   Watching my oldest daughter take her most amazing mind and direct it towards something that she is passionate about.  Listening to some of the logic and reasoned arguments coming out of her is...  Well, frightening were I on the wr...

I was chatting with a friend that had been poking around on my blog (Hello Aaron!) and I was telling him how I was doing and realized it had been too long since my last update to the blog.   First, apologies who reached out concerned that I was dying after my last blog post.  I never meant to scare anyone or mislead anyone about the condition of my health.  It does sound like it was impactful to a few people who felt the "punch to the gut" of going through that exercise and seeing that somehow we get lost along the way sometimes.   It's an interesting time for me at the moment (as I do my best "Dude" impression from the Big Lebowski). But to be honest I'm really having the time of my life.  I don't know if it's possible for someone to be happier.  I'm grateful many moments throughout the day where I thought...  You know if I died right now, I'd die happy and truly enjoying what I'm doing and working towards something I love. ...

It's important for me to detail my journey.  Not just the wonderful revelations but the challenges as well.  So, without further ado...  My challenge of the day: My insurance company (Prudential) is declining to continue to approve my disability claim.  There's a whole lot of "story" behind it but the nut of it is that I'm currently in the appeal process and Prudential has discontinued benefits (retroactively) back to 5/1.  Yeah they just told me today 5/18/16.  The appeal process can take up to 45 days. That means that I'm going to need to go back to work (eating is good ya know) as soon as next week.  That leaves me in a situation where I had believed that I would get to the bottom of this problem and then go back to work...  Nope.  My vision of what would happen is not what's going to wind up happening. So my desire (to stay on disability) has impacted with "the world" and as such I'm in a state of suffering because what will ...

Thank you to those who reached out to me today.  It was/is a rough day but I can be sure that I will fall into the arms of people who love and care about me.  I even got a "cosmic butt-dial" from Ginny (Hi Ginny, glad you're heart is doing well and your health is better than ever).  I'm really not a guy to read too much into coincidences, but even I must admit that getting a call from her...  by accident...  when I really needed to talk to her.  *sigh*   Life is funny sometimes.  Maybe I'll never know, and you know what, I'm just fine with that. reposted from May 19th, 2016

Today I had a very good friend of mine who I've known since back in the BBS days reach out to me unsolicited (Hello Susan!).  She just wanted to let me know that she loves me, and that she thinks about me often.  That she was out on her patio and instead of smushing a bug that landed on her, she shoo'd it off instead...  And thought of me.   <Blush!>   This kind of feedback is good, but it can be a trap that I need to watch out for.  I'm doing what I do because it's the right thing and because I'm driven by an internal compass.  NOT because of the praise and respect of my friends and peers.   What CAN happen is that people (me) like the praise and start pursuing the praise instead of "the work".  I liked the praise.  It "made me feel good about what I'm doing", but I MUST keep in mind that it's the work that people are praising, not me.  I must be humble despite the praise and stick to my own internal compass. ...

My birthday was just the other day. What does a guy who has all he wants ask for as a present?  The time of his friends.   I've been going through a lot of personal changes lately and I've been trying more "out of the box" type thinking.  So when my birthday rolled around (a day much like any other which usually has no celebration) and my friends asked the question of "What are you going to do for your birthday?" I was kind of dumbstruck because because of my personal revelations lately had me asking the question "Well, what does this 48 year old dude really want"?   Short and simple - I want to spend more quality time with my friends and family.   How do I make this happen?  Well, I gave nobody any notice but it's my birthday...  So I made a "birthday ask" and opened up my house for the day to my friends and said, "My house will be open today to all my friends and family in Phoenix AZ. Just stop by for 5 minutes o...

Trump is the "poster child" for the 1% or the .1% even.  He is at the very top financially.  He's made a brand for himself by doing that.  He's made MONEY being the MONEY GUY for gods sake.   And now he's a "candidate" for president.   How in the hell can 40% of the US population think that @realDonaldTrump is the right person to look out for their best interests? He's looking out for his OWN self interests.  He always has.  I can even produce video. Ask yourself - "Is that a man who would live 3 days in my shoes?".  No, he would not humble himself so. The man is simply not a good human being.  Why would you ask him to lead our country? I feel as though one of the top 1%'ers just bought our government and we've let them.     Am I a disheartened @SenSanders supporter...  Yes.  At this moment I'm not feeling all that great.  And I really do wish things were different right now, but really people...

Doing the right things for the right reasons has the very strange effect of having unexpected GOOD side effects.  Let me explain, if you do the wrong thing or do something for the wrong reasons, then bad stuff can come from that either because of the wrong intent or the wrong action.   But when your intentions and actions are true to your internal moral compass, then you have the ability to look yourself in the mirror and say WITH SINCERITY that you made those decisions from a pure heart.  That is that place where people should be making decisions.   The universe has a funny way of doing nice, good or pleasant things when you walk that path. Reposted Jun 17, 2016

Find something bigger than yourself that you believe in, are passionate about and makes the world or humanity better. Something that you could never reasonably finish in your lifetime. Fix that firmly in your focus and gaze on that goal with all the attention you possess. Is it firmly focused?  Good. Move toward that. Not to the detriment of all else but in a way that meets your responsibilities as well as keeps you moving forward. That is your goal. That is why you exist. Reposted form Jun 27, 2016

Music...  It's something that is universal to the human spirit.  Across all cultures and in all races there is music.   In these turbulent times, lets take a queue from something that we all have in common - How our music represents the subculture that we come from.   As we discuss which lives matter and which lives don't, what is the music from each of those subcultures telling us about where they come from and how they are treated?     When all the music from all the subcultures is about "good stuff" like falling in love, dancing, losing relationships, striving for equality, etc. then we will have true equality.  Until then we should continue to strive for what we as human beings knows is right/just.  Will it ever be perfect?  No.  But it can surely be a lot better than it is right now.   When the music of a subculture is no longer about violence and hate, you can be assured that the subculture in question is ...

A spark.  A moment of realization. When something that you'd been focusing on (making a conscious decision on) turns into a habit. There are times that should be recognized and rewarded where the hard effort you've undertaken finally becomes something you no longer have to spend time thinking on.  Those bad behaviors, corrected and a new path trod upon. Something as simple as not biting your nails, or rolling your eyes all the way to the truly disturbing things such as violence towards another...  Maybe even someone you love. That moment when you realize that hard work training your mind really can pay off. Reposted from July 29, 2016

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.   I wish you enough rain to help you appreciate the sun more.   I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.   I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all you possess.   I wish you enough hellos to get through the final goodbye.   stolen from: https://www.facebook.com/HigherPerspective/videos/1258515097514140/ Reposted from August 3rd 2016

There are a few times in you life where you really get to see the fruits of your labor. Today my 16 year old son and I got into an argument about some behavior that I didn't like and I asked him to stop. ... <long story intentionally omitted> ... But what happened after we'd resolved the argument and gotten to a level place really amazed me.  This was all in the same conversation. My son asked me to go on a snorkeling trip with his high school/ROTC friends. No offense here to my dad, but I'd have viewed my chance to get to a snorkeling trip at 16 as a great way to get AWAY from my family, not take it along with me. My views now are a bit different at 48. I paused for about 15-30 seconds (I was stunned at what I had just been asked) and then looked him square in the eye and gave a very firm "Yes". ... I'm thinking of letting him back out of it, but part of me doesn't want to give him the option of backing out. Me, I ha...

I sit here tonight with my priorities in order. I have an "Ops deck" that's due tomorrow which I've done very little for and it will likely be a long evening. That's because over the past few days I've been changing behaviors at work and that's been having an impressive (impressively positive) outcomes.  It's created possibilities where there didn't seem to be any previously and has given/taken spoons at different times.  So it's oddly more important to me to do my work correctly and effectively.  In a way I have "something to prove" and have accepted that challenge and it's invigorating. All those cool and wonderful things said, I still have been spending the last ~3 hours spending it with my 5 year old daughter (soon to be 6 - Her birthday party is September 3rd).  You may see this as "messing around" when I have something to PROVE, something to drive me, but it's exactly this type of thinking that is wrong.....

I hear it all the time as an adult man.  The traditional chauvinistic question - "what kind of man are you?  Are you a tits man or an ass man?".  And all the time I sit there and think "why do I have to pick one of the two?"  Can't I be attracted to something other than those baser physical characteristics?   I guess the real thing that I'm attracted to in a woman has to be her mind and how she "handles" life that happens.  How well does she "human".  That's what I'm attracted to in a woman.  But I know most guys are looking for a physical attribute, so here's my answer.  If I were to pick a physical attribute above all others I would say a person with a beautiful and kind smile is what I am most attracted to.  Why is the real question...  WHY is that what I'm attracted to?  In my belief a beautiful and kind smile can only be faked by the truly deceptive, and I choose to believe that a trusting and kind smile is trul...

Hello curious soul, So you’re interested in a little more detail about Utopia42? It’s best described verbally, but I will try to put my paltry writing skills to use. I’m creating a whole new digital voice environment/society built on trust and incentivized on good behavior (or at least not exhibiting bad behavior). It would serve as a way for people to recognize that when interacting “digitally” what they say/do affects other human beings. We would all treat each other with more respect than we do today in almost all other typed “digital communities”. “Communities” that are based on typed information (forums, IM’s, chat boards, facebook, reddit, etc.) are inherently flawed because the very medium that they are conversing at (written text) is not MADE to actually reach conclusions… If we want to actually learn from one another then we must come together and lead a new way to envision humanity. I propose Utopia42 <scratches head> “But wait, I’m still fuzzy on what it ac...

Today I had an interaction with a kindergarten playground bully.  He was 6, and came up and laughed at me for my painted purple toenails.  He told me "I was a girl" and that he wanted to "stomp on my toes and make me cry."  He was bigger than the other kids and had 2 smaller kids that were his friends that helped him bully others. I was stunned.  It took me a few seconds to fight down the "what the fuck?!" reaction and instead I said "why do you want to hurt me like that?"  Off he and his friends ran. Later, after I'd played with my daughter, I was resting and purposefully sitting on the playground to interact with the children and behind me comes the bully in the Captain America shirt, and he stands right behind me (making him taller than I) and by this time I was ready for an interaction with a child with a bully mentality. Him - "You have painted toes" Me - "Yes, I like purple".  "What color do you like?...

On 12/10 I went to NYC and met one of the people who I “look up to” as a fellow human being – Seth Godin . I’d like to take a minute to document the things that I took away from the interactions and connections from the weekend in the hopes that perhaps someone else will see the value in the viewpoint and engage with me further on doing things “like this”. The most powerful thing I internalized (or think I internalized) is the very simple statement “ People like us, do things like this .”  The meaning of this (my own words) is that how you identify and see yourself which is the “people like us” part.  In my particular circle of social connections it’s “ Burners ”, “ IT professionals ”, “ Gaming enthusiast ”, “ mindfulness practitioner ”, “Father”, etc.  When you define yourself as a “people like us”, then you are a part of that tribe of people who see things the same way.  The 2 nd part of that is “do things like this”.  In this example “People like burners...

Do you have an artistic endeavor that you actively do? For 47 years of my life I "was never good at art".  I would laugh about the quality of my stick figures, and sometimes hope to complete a circle with the ends matching.  And my handwriting is horrible (something I'm consciously working on improving)...  But for 47 years my capacity for Art has been limited.  Very Limited. ... So for 47 years I substituted my experiences with my artistic community in Phoenix AZ, and supporting those who I could throughout the years.  Later in life I view my relationships with others as a "shared artwork" and strongly feel that this sense of being with others is truly my artwork.  And those things are GREAT and I love them dearly and am happy to be able to support art in this way and have this viewpoint, but it's simply not a physical thing that you can hang in a museum and call "art". Well, at 48 years I truly believe I've found it . But it's not a...

This ideal blatantly stolen (with permission) from @SeanBlanda https://medium.com/@SeanBlanda/the-other-side-is-not-dumb-2670c1294063#.lnncsckn7 http://www.instituteforcivility.org/2016/01/28/playing-controversial-opinion/ I'm creating a table with these rules inscribed on the face.  There will be 4 stools. Rules - For the "hot seat" State an opinion that you believe is controversial - Respond to the questions with a story or experience from your own personal life. You are free to cease the conversation at any time The "learners" The other 3 people at the table can only ask questions about why the hot seat holds the opinion they do.  Use open ended questions. Questioners must wait for the hot seat to pause for 5 seconds before asking another question regarding their opinion. The topics/judgements discussed at the table, stay at the table.  Leave it there and learn from it. Remember - I can disagree with your opinion, but not...

I had a friend and we "shared the same trajectory", he and I were in similar situations: We saw each other at common functions 2-4 times a year and I've known him for about 10 years. We talked about life, his feelings, my feelings and our perspectives in conversations several times. Both of us came from technical backgrounds. Both of us had acquired a "nest egg" that we were dipping into for expenses. Both of us were in periods of our lives where we were not in the traditional IT/engineering workforce careers. Both of us were growing and finding ourselves.  Him in lovely Colorado, and me in Arizona. Both of us in our late 40s and single (me with kids=home, him without=traveling) Both of us near neurotic in our pursuit of quality craftsmanship and attention to detail in our goods purchased.  As we often admired the way the choices were investigated as much as the final solution itself.  I share this oddity with several others that I know as well. Simpl...

TLDR;  Happiness derived from external factors is fleeting and ultimately unfulfilling.  Here's a path I've taken to "better happiness". July of 2016 I was as heavy as I've ever been.  I would sometimes hit 250lbs and for a guy who was always "a stick" in high school this was WAY heavier than I ever wanted to be. October of 2016 I left my position at Insight to pursue a dream/passion of mine .  At that time I knew I'd be out of work for a while since I really wanted to try my energy at this Utopia42 idea.  The idea has come in fits and spurts with some limited successes (and many failures). As part of an agreement I made with myself at the time - For whatever this amount of time I will be chasing my dreams, I will also meditate daily and exercise regularly .  I wanted to get to a solid 200lbs, and to be in better shape both physically and mentally ( Book of Joy & Joy on Demand ).  Part of this was the commitment to embrace the Stoic phi...

We all struggle at times.  Its part of the human condition.  The hard part in dealing with the problems of everyday life is that often times there are just too many things to do and if you tried to do everything it would exhaust you.  So the key is managing your day (the exchange of energy and information) with the "most ease" that you can muster given the tools in your toolbox. This is where my "Spoon Theory" comes in.  Spoons represent a unit of energy.  If you think of waking up every morning with 20 spoons and its up to you to use these units of energy (spoons) in the most effective way throughout your day. Normal day vs day with depression Getting up = -1 vs -5 Meditation and exercise = -2 vs -5 Getting to work = -3 vs -5 Working till lunch = -3 vs -6 Lunch = 0 vs -2 Afternoon work = -4 vs -8 Home = +1 vs 0 Spend time with community = -3 vs -10 Time for self (pursue your passion) = +5 vs 0 As you can see on a normal day the management of spoo...

I had a strange cascade of thoughts where I stepped on some sand outside my back door, and I was actually observing my thoughts as the "story" started to arise. The story of my daughter emptying out her shoes, and then, I quickly went to get the broom and simply swept the sand from the back porch paying attention to my actions. It was the most interesting sweeping job I've ever experienced. reposted from Nov 4th 2017

I've increased my duration of mediation recently to an hour in an effort to manage the holiday season with more skill. This morning I was listening to Shinzen Young (my teacher) go over a "working with the holidays - windows and walls" meditation session from his home practice program.  And for whatever reason I had an experience where I tasted self-compassion for this being that is my "self" and was really able to see/know/feel the difference between the love and support I was given as a child, and what I have provided and now provide for my children.  I was able to give myself the love, support and understanding that I would give my family (born or found). There are times when I don't feel deserving of that.  Times when I treat myself like someone I don't really care for.  My mind can be a terrible place to walk alone in after dark. I then continued on, and was appreciating the difference between when I started sitting and where I was at that moment...

I look back at my life and see threads of mindfulness through it. BurningMan taught me spontaneity. Buddhism taught me meditation. Parenting taught me compassion. Deep and loving connections with others taught me of our interdependence. I wish you a practice of mindfulness. Reposted from May 5th 2018

Ok.  It's one thing to bliss out on a cushion and quite another thing to work it into your daily life. I'd like to tell this story of how I used my mindfulness skills when I had the flu. As some of you may know I'm a leader in the Arizona Burning Man community.  One of my responsibilities is to share information with the communities and to that end we have 2 town halls a year 1 in Phoenix and 1 in Tucson.  My hope is that others will see the reason in this thinking and perhaps may find this line of thought as a life-raft during crisis. Note: As I will be speaking of feelings at a very detailed level, some readers may find these descriptions unpleasant. I wake up in the morning and am not feeling well. I go sit down on the toilet because my stomach is really roiling. <Hmmm…  Should I just kneel down?> I assume the throw up position. <Breathe Ron.  It will either happen or it won't.  No need to force anything.  No need to rush....

Feel Good - This was my practice today and this is why.   The Feel Good technique is a compassion/gratitude practice which when done correctly helps to train the mind to notice these things in daily life, thus affecting a persons general "mood".   Invoke Good feeling - Find that memory, story, visualization, or whatever in your life that you are truly "Feeling GOOD" about. For me that's my daughter, much of my volunteer work and helping others. <specifics - gazing at my daughter as she sleeps, feeling of connection with another, making a difference to another human being>   Take this and focus on it until you can see it clearly, until you can discern small details of the experience. This is sometimes referred to as "ringing the bell" of that feel good memory/story/image/sound/sensation.   After you've "rung the bell" now focus on the feeling that you're having. Be curious about it. Rest in i...

Hate/anger/violence is not my solution. The only time something good comes out of hating something is "hating hate". Instead, let me tell you about compassion, and how to view peoples "bad" speech, actions and behavior with understanding for their perspectives & experiences. I didn't say excuse their behavior, because I believe a human should be responsible for their own actions, speech and behaviors. Simply understand their perspective and their experiences that got them to this moment. At that point simply address the "bad" behavior/speech/action and correct it without assigning a judgement on the human who holds a particular viewpoint. You know, with words and punishment if necessary, but not violence or more hate. This helps me to "mentally untangle" the human being (who is always capable of redemption) with the poor actions/speech/behavior that I disagree with (sometimes to my very humanity). It helps me to not become hateful...

Today I struggle. The struggle against the fear that we are all experiencing. The anxiety from the unknown future. The desire to positively contribute, yet seeming to fall short. The yearning for the busy, normal world. A normal we may never see again. Today I'm sad. I miss my friends. I miss being pair-bonded. I miss giving and getting hugs.  I miss smiling at people without a mask. I miss the “get togethers” that I used to avoid. I miss watching my daughter play with other kids.  I know that feelings aren't facts, and that I should not attach to the emotions of the moment, but it's important to have as much Clarity around the more difficult emotions as it is to clearly see the pleasant. Equanimity is a hard thing. And while I feel these unpleasant emotions strongly, and clearly as my meditation practice has taught me, I still look towards the future with some degree of hope that we will emerge into a more compassionate and engaged worl...